I personally don't feel men love, we lust, we want, we desire, I think us men should leave this love stuff to females. Love to a man is most probably someone that he can sex regularly. I say that in tongue an cheek, but I'm not far off. Or maybe it's just me and I'm heartless lol. I feel men only go along with the concept of love because women do. For example if you gave a man a choice between having one women to love or four legitamitly I believe majority of men would choose to have four and probably LOVE all of them allegedly lol but then you could say how can a man love four women, but that's just it a man can, so the question comes up again does a man really love? And I'm not talking about family love.
To me men are driven when it comes to females by two things, lust and sex.
Mmmm. June_4real. Romantic love is a conundrum. Interesting, can you explan what you mean?. I think that if we are dealing just with the issue of love, that is something completely different. I think we've all been given this very shady idea of what love is by 'The Mills and Boons posse'
It does very much depend on our concept of love originally given to us by our parents. Traditonally afro-caribbean parents have a very authoratative stance when it comes to bringing up children. Sometimes (and maybe this is more old school upbringing) but back in the day there was enough time for getting you sorted, out the door to school and then parents off to work, there was little room for any more emotional interaction than that.
That type of emotional concept of rearing a child to a degree still exists with the new generation and maybe this is where the connection between real love and 'lust' that maybe 'in the heat of the moment' resembles romantic love comes from. If a child's concept of love is shaped by a vague understanding of warmth, support and pride in them they're going to carry that into adult life.
A lot of what we as people then experience in our connections with other's is a 'concept of' but not a 'grasping of' what real love is all about. I also have a problem with the notion of romantic love. I think it's necessary to re-define our concept of love if the original blueprint, given to us by our parents is so flawed that it intefers with us building and sustaining real love with another.
Real love is not only about embracing yourself but also about embracing another's flawed concept of love and working to build a unified whole between yourself and the other person that is the object of your desire (I use the term desire loosley)
ityiarmbiamo your closing comment i feel certainly links in with blackstars confession of not having felt 'deep' love im guessing from his mother growing up, so maybe there are some mother son issues which have blurred your definition of romantic love. I think in some ways you have to first understand unconditional love whether that be a friend or a family level, before you can be open to romantic love.
I have really struggled with the notion of love, i really do not whether it truly exists or whether it is a fallacy that we have forced and made a home out of?
I feel there is a difference between simply loving another person, and loving romantically. Romantic love to me however is a conundrum.
I smiled to myself when I read the topic matter on this one. My girlfriends and I regularly discuss this subject and I would have to agree with you. It doesn't mean that all men are this way but there are a large majority that think like this.
Research has shown that it's a lot to do with a man's testosterone levels. There's been many a time when I've been walking down the high street and seen a guy stop to watch a woman dressed either scantily or wearing something tight fitting walk by. It's innate in a man to do and act in this way.
It doesn't mean they don't have the capacity to love though, it probably just means that men entertain love in a very different way to women. I know some very beautiful, loving brothers' Who possess the capacity to love on a really deep level because they respect; first and foremost, the women that brought them into this world and I think any man that truly loves his mother also somewhere along the line should know how to love, and not just 'lust' after a woman.
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